No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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