OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
