He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
