Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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