Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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