So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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