I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
