ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
