You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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