so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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