i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
