what day is it and did you see me today?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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