i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
