After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
