what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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