so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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