You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish i was in the wii world.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
