roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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