Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
