Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize