why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
