When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think your dad took our porno
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
