And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
