he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
