I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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