No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
