If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
