Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
