I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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