She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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