weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The feeling are messing with the penis
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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