Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
no, he came in my armpit
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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