how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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