Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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