a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
