I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
