I just made out with a guy for $7.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize