how can u be prego again
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
