capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
