fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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