Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
