the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
