Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
