im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
