my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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