She's JV to your varsity
im six kinds of drunk right now
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
