After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
