chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
