I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
