That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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