Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize