oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
