I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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