11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
