forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He felt like a one man threesome
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
