cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize