so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize