2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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