Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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