i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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