But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
