Your face is a jimmy john
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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