you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
