So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He shit in the fireplace
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
