my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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